Top 10 Apocalyptic Possibilities
1. Zombies: I imagined the apocalypse to break out in a major metropolitan city or in some twisted government-run medical facility. Never thought the flesh eating shenanigans would begin in the sunshine state. The recent grisly sequence of events involving real people eating real faces, among other zombie-like behavior, appear to be sprouting in Florida...and spreading.
Not sure what I'm talking about? Here's the article that rocked my mind. Be warned: These are some compelling clues.
2. Aliens: If you've seen the show, "Ancient Aliens," you know that Giorgio A. Tsoukalos' hair is bitching and a guy with that much confidence MUST be telling some truth. The show is currently in it's 4th season and still rocking hard on the Ancient Astronaut Theory. Real or not, it sure makes cracking life's mysteries easier.
3. HACK: Whether it's for iPhone, Gmail, Linkedin, or Steam, our digital era is becoming more vulnerable to viruses and hacks. How is this going to be the demise of (wo)man kind?
Here's my Final Fantasy VII theory:
For those unfortunate beings who aren't familiar with the greatest game story of all time, Sephiroth's objective is to summon Meteor, the most powerful offensive attack, in hopes to injure the planet so the life stream will come save the day. Once exposed, Sephiroth would then absorb the life force from the life stream and become a god and everyone dies. The end.
4. Medicine: They all have disclaimers and for some reason, they all seem to have similar warnings...death. What is supposed to make us better may actually kill us all.
5. Global Energy Crisis: Oil prices are rising, coal is ridiculous, power cuts are plaguing nations, rolling blackouts are becoming more common, and the global demand for energy keeps growing. Doomed...
6. Tsunami Hurricane: With the way global warming is progressing, we're bound to see angrier weather and more natural disasters. Of the following three extreme disasters, which do you prefer?
- Earthquake squash
- Volcano sizzle
- Tsurricane suffer
- Frozen tundra
7. Mermaids: The freakiest discovery of the modern age, imo. One random Sunday evening while surfing the tele, I crashed upon Animal Planet's "Mermaids: The Body Found" film. Part of it's Monster Week, this special presented evidence of the existence of our flippy finned ancestors. This would probably happen soon after the Tsunami Hurricane and mankind will be doomed because Mermaids are cannibals and also like to collect thingamabobs, whozits, and whatzits.
8. Vampires: They're trending and everywhere. A legion of blood-sucking themed pop culture has already consumed teenagers and stay-at-home mothers all over the world. Vampires can exert their charisma and mesmerize a victim into paralysis. It already has begun...
9. Werewolves: They seem to go hand-in-hand with Vampires. You saw what happened to Michael Jackson in Thriller. Just carry silver forks around everywhere you go if this happens...or bullets...
10. Return of the J: The greatest host of all time will finally open the doors to his pad where he'll host the greatest party of all time. You'll need to be on the guest list. If not, then you'll be left behind to deal with one or all of the above. Tip: It helps to know someone at the party.
...and with that, I bid you, goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment